Missionary Stories You’ll Never Forget – And Why Bland Lake Hideaway Loves Them
When most people think of a peaceful East Texas getaway, they picture hammocks, bird songs, and maybe the occasional squirrel stealing a peanut.
What they don’t picture is a full-grown man being carried down a dusty West African street by a woman in a very small towel… while an entire village cheers.
Welcome to my world.
At Bland Lake Hideaway, we believe in more than just comfortable beds and scenic views – we believe in stories. The kind of stories that make you laugh until sweet tea comes out your nose, and sometimes, the kind that make you stop and think about life’s bigger picture. That’s why we’re so excited to tell you about our newest project – a book of Missionary Stories straight from our years in West Africa.
And yes, one of those stories involves a towel, a bear hug, and me yelling “I already have a wife!” while Teacher Adoko laughed so hard I thought he might pass out.
The Towel Incident – Straight From the Book
Here’s a sneak peek:
Suddenly, without warning, I was lifted off the ground from behind – a bear hug, a full-on, no-escape bear hug. The woman from the shower had run out, still wrapped in her very small towel, and had grabbed me. And then… she started running… carrying me down the street.
“Look at my new white husband!” she chanted, loudly and proudly over and over: “Look at my new white husband!”
I was stunned. I did not know what to do. I flailed and kicked like a cat thrown into a bathtub. My arms were trapped. My legs were barely reaching the ground. I was yelling, “I already have a wife! I’m married!”
No one cared. In Ghana, polygamy is common in some communities. People around us just laughed. “You can have more than one!”
Teacher Adoko was bent over in laughter. His friend was pounding his leg and wiping tears from his eyes. The girl’s sisters were screaming with glee and clapping like it was the best thing they had ever seen.
That’s just one of dozens of true, laugh-out-loud stories in the book. And believe me, if you think that one is wild, you haven’t heard about the snake in the garage, the time we accidentally got caught in a prison break, or the day we nearly drove into a roadblock of fake “injured” bandits.
Why a Cabin in East Texas Cares About Missionary Stories
You might be wondering – what does Bland Lake Hideaway have to do with West African towel hijackings?
The answer is simple: every booking here helps support missions in Africa.
When you stay with us, you’re not just getting a cozy night by the lake – you’re helping fund the work of missionaries in Ghana and Ivory Coast. You’re part of training pastors, planting churches, and even (as you now know) surviving unpredictable cultural adventures.
It’s like Airbnb, but with eternal rewards.
Laughs, Lessons, and the Occasional Near-Death Experience
The stories in this book aren’t just about comedy (though there’s plenty of that). They’re also about the moments when we saw God’s hand in the middle of chaos – like dodging a black mamba in the garage or getting out of a war zone on an Italian military plane.
These Missionary Stories mix humor with heart. You’ll laugh, you might cry, and you’ll definitely end up with some great dinner-table conversation starters. (“So there was this one time in Ghana when…”)
How to Get More Stories (and Be the First to Hear About the Book Release)
Here’s the best part: you don’t have to wait for the book to come out to start enjoying these adventures.
We send out daily stories from West Africa straight to your inbox – real, raw, and occasionally ridiculous. Think of it as your morning coffee with a side of laughter, inspiration, and cultural education you never asked for but will be glad you got.
Sign up here: consfords.com/connect
Not only will you get the stories before anyone else, but you’ll also be the first to know when the book officially launches.
Why You’ll Love the Book (Even If You’ve Never Left Texas)
You don’t have to be a missionary, a traveler, or even a passport owner to enjoy these tales. The humor is universal, and the lessons are timeless. Plus, let’s be honest – reading about my mistakes, awkward encounters, and near disasters is a whole lot safer than experiencing them yourself.
Whether you’re reading it in one of our lakeside cabins, on your porch swing, or under the covers with a flashlight (we won’t tell), this book is designed to make you feel like you’re right there in the middle of the action – without the jet lag or malaria pills.
Book a Stay, Support Missions, Collect Stories
Next time you need a weekend getaway, remember that Bland Lake Hideaway isn’t just a place to rest – it’s a place that helps change lives on the other side of the world. Your stay helps fund the very work these Missionary Stories are about.
You can even grab a cup of coffee, sit by the water, and read a chapter about how I once ended up at a Ghanaian wedding I didn’t know I was performing until I was already at the altar. (True story. You’ll love it.)
Ready to Laugh With Us?
Here’s your mission (should you choose to accept it):
- Sign up at consfords.com/connect for daily stories and book updates.
- Plan your getaway at blandlakehideaway.com and know your stay supports missions in Africa.
- Tell a friend who needs a laugh, a good read, or a vacation. Bonus points if you tell them all three.
Because in the end, life is too short not to laugh at yourself…
…especially if you’ve ever been carried down the street in a towel by someone who isn’t your wife.
